I am Torn

 I am torn

Between words that draw me

To what’s beyond the horizons

And logic that tells me

Horizon is just a trick of light.

I am torn

Between emotions that surge,

 gush through my blood.

And logic that tells me

Its just hormonal action.

I am torn

Between love that binds me,

Keeping me alive and sound

And logic that tells me,

Food, water ‘n air do that.

I am torn

Between tears of grief,

Of heart-break and loneliness

And logic that tells me

Its just aqueous NaCl.

I am torn

Between the fire of imagination,

Dancing before my eyes,

And logic that tells me

Fire can only heat and burn.

Fear

Fear. It is like a serpent,

Grasping, crushing and choking me.

Its fangs burn through my will,

Poisoning the fiber of my existence.

Fear. It leaves scars,

Scars that time might never heal.

Scars that hold me back,

Thoughts that dampen and diminish.

Fear. It changes everything.

It steals what was once mine.

I am left with nothing, as

What is left shall never be mine.

Fear. I try to break out,

Out of its abyss, out of nothingness.

Only too late do I realize,

Everything inside me is broken.

Darkness

*Written during the District Level Eng Versification contest*

Searching for a light,

Plunged in silence so loud,

Darkness is what I find,

No matter where I look.

The darkness is profound

In every venomous fang,

Drooling with dark lust,

Biting into feminity.

The darkness is evident

In every blood stained hand,

Always in search of something

To be looted and consumed.

The darkness is definite

In the ever-hungry eyes

That see the figures on cheques,

But not figures writhing in pain.

The darkness is growing

In every straying mind

Thinking ‘I’ before ‘we’,

Always ‘me’ before ‘they’.

The darkness is ready to pounce

On every clueless soul

To corrupt it until its crippled

To choke it until its dead.

Only if I knew how,

I would tear away the dark veil

For, now the darkness is darker

Darker than it has ever been.

Down The Memory Lane

Going down the memory lane,

It all gushes back.

The books tucked behind the shelves,

Hidden, saved from the accusing eyes.

The hours spent with the dishes,

A spoon in hand. No pen.

The wolfish stares of a hundred men.

The hands of society, always holding back.

The chains I fought so hard to break,

Changing shapes with changing time-

The father, the husband and now the son.

The tears – bitter, but never ever weak.

The battles fought for a good chance in life.

The walls, the hurdles, big and small.

But down the memory lane,

Some things do not change –

The smile that does not waver,

The hands that do not shake,

The spirit that cannot be dampened,

The soul that will not be crushed.

Then, now and tomorrow, my voice remains,

I am a woman and proud to be.

Those Days

 Recently, an English versification competition was conducted in my school. The topic was 'Those Days'. So, this is what I came up with during the 2 hrs.

I remember those days

When I was young, full of life.

My beauty and wealth

Mesmerized minds.

I remember those days

When I was the inspiration.

I was wanted and loved.

I was tended and preserved.

I remember those days

Before I greyed,

Before my blood was drained,

Before my wealth was plundered.

Now they suffocate me,

Now they exploit me.

Now they kill their brothers,

And trample me underfoot.

They conquer, they misuse.

They build, they destroy.

And I, Mother Earth,

Still remember those days!

Words

Words, powerful things

Some may inspire,

Others trample.

Words, weird things

Do they mean what they say?

You never know.

Words, strange things

They fail us when happy

They fail us when sad.

Words, tricky things

Sometimes they clear

Sometimes confuse

Words, relentless things

They make life easy

They make life hard

Words, endless things

Life depends on them,

The ones you say & the ones you don’t.

Tears

I was once a brave little girl

Who did something big!

I challenged tears,

At the age of ten!

Surrounded by gleeful laughs,

I said, “Mamma, I’ll never cry!”

Time passed on and the small girl grew.

People changed and so did I.

Feeling left out, all alone,

I wanted to cry.

But hey, I challenged tears,

So how could I?

Sticking a permanent smile on my face,

I let my heart bleed

Over everything I lost,

Over the love of my life.

But No! I wouldn’t cry, tears were bad.

Growing again, changes again.

Feelings bottled up, how could I cry?

I was the brave heart

Who promised to smile.

But one day it gushed forth,

Everything I’d faced –

Cold stares, anger, no love, no care,

Revenge and teasing, lots of mocking,

Failures big and small, bitter and sour,

Wounds so deep,

Those that would never heal.

And then they came to me,

The bitter tears of life –

Saying “If you weren’t lame

To challenge us like that,

At least we would’ve been with you

Oh dear one!”

Perfect

(This poem was inspired by the song "Perfect" by P!nk. I dedicate this to every individual in this world who thinks he/she is not perfect..)



Swaying side to side,
With pain boiling inside,
Tears rolling down,
Having tasted the bitter life.
Always been friendless, a loner in life,
Never been loved, never been cared for.
All because you had your own ways,
Ways of thinking, ways of living.
Can’t sleep at night, No peace of mind,
Never felt how good joy is…
Spent your life hating yourself,
Having known nothing other than hate.
But there’s something you fail to realize –
In the end, none of these matters!
Bad looks, no skills, dirty clothes, poor or rich,
They’re not what life is about…
What matters is not if you lived your life
The way others wanted you to.
It never matters if you live up to the big
Expectations of thousand others.
What counts is if you lived up to yours!
Your wishes, your desires, your expectations.
Life is not about being what others call “perfect”,
But being what “perfect” is in your own eyes!!

Me..

Every time I walk alone,

Deep in thought, drifting away...

To people, I may seem queer,

With my nose in fat books,

Absorbed between the lines.

People may think that’s what I am

A book worm, a nerd, not one of them…

When am happy, I laugh out loud,

I cry my heart out when am upset.

I let out my feelings, never bottle them up.

And people may think that’s what I am,

A sensitive girl, who’s got very little control

Over her own emotions!

I think a lot, talk to myself,

Lost within the strands of my own thoughts.

People may think that’s what I am

A weird little alien, coming from somewhere

Not among them!

I speak out my mind, I never care,

I try not to be an introvert.
With my childish talks and sing-song voice,

People may think that am immature!

But all I would like to let them know

Is, the real ‘me’ is unknown to them..

They haven’t seen me, when I face my life

With courage and take up the challenges.

They haven’t seen me posing solutions,

Wiping tears from many-a-face..

What they have seen is what it seems,
They don’t know what the real ‘me’ is like!!


Dream Ever, Fear Never...Malavika :)

Night

The moon shone bright,

As the king of the night.

The stars twinkled at me,

From up in the sky..

Yes, it’s night- the end of a day,

A door to another!

It’ the time I forget everything,

My woes, my worries and close my eyes.

I drift away to my dream world,

It’s so nice there, everything’s good!

In my dream world, I am the best.

No one hurts me, no one shouts..

I have friends there, all good ones,

No treacheries, no dirty fights,

No back stabbing, no tears at all..

I laugh; I dance in my dream world,

I keep sleeping to keep these with me!

But dreams are dreams, they aren’t real,

They’re gone once I open my eyes.

I stare into the night, and feel the wind..

It brushes my cheeks and soothes my mind.

Around me the world sparkles,

Bathed in silver, so calm, so pure!

Yes, it’s night!

Now, everything’s all right..


Dream Ever, Fear Never...Malavika.. :)

What Does It Mean??

I can’t learn the way you do,
 Am the last when it comes to marks.

Math, history, science and English

Are not the things am good at.

I don’t talk the way you do.

You may not get it,

As it’s seldom clear.

I am not like you, I’m different.

But my heart, it’s just the same.

I do love the way you all do.
I do my things all alone,

I eat, I bath, I wash alone.

When I pass by, people laugh.

They say am “retarded” and give hi-5 s.

I never found out what “retarded” means,

Do they mean am good? Loving and cute?

I’m happy to be the reason why

My friends laugh and have a good time.

Yes, am “retarded”, whatever it means!!

Written from the point of view of a mentally disabled child, this one's dedicated to my lovable brother Gopi, who suffers from a chromosomal defect called Down Syndrome..Bringing him up into what he is right now has always been difficult for my family..It really hurts a lot when people try to pour water over all our efforts concerning him..Hope they realize soon that ridiculing children with learning disabilities and other defects just leads the society into a very pathetic condition..
Gopi, I love you... :)

Dream Ever, Fear Never...Malavika.. :)